Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Too bad i can't pray...
Hmm how i wish to be in his big sweater and in his arm again..
Jammed !
Haha i was at mary brown and my finger got jammed on the toilet door ! Bhahah the funny thing is , it wasn't only me. The next person after me went to the toilet and also got her finger jammed ! Hahah
Usually if something happen to me i would tell him. Get All manja with him. Hmm :( i did tell him though. And he replied. Short replied though :( hmm i miss him.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Dream about him. Again
Last night i had a dream about him again. But it was all weird and practically doesn't make sense either haha. In the dream i was playing around with Ira's blackberry*she uses iphone now* and daaa everyone know what i'll do. I check his BBM status and stuff. His BBM name was IdaEddy well that made me smile in the dream but on his status he wrote someone elses name , a girl and a💜shape. That made me sad haha.
Then all of the sudden i realised i was still in Kelantan. I mean whatttt ?! Haha and i was looking through the window i saw and elephant's ass hahaaha. And weird enough i was trying to take a picture of me and elephant's ass using Ira's phoneee hahahahah!
Then i was awake hearing my mama n papa arguing about.... Yeaa that made me teared up a little under my blankey with ed. I hope its nothing serious that are gonna get them into a big fight.and i woke up had my shower and decided to charge my iphone. Its been a while u know. I kinda always turning my phone off because there's so much sweet and bitter memories of him.
So then i turned on my phone and i saw some wechat me that i haven't read. I assume it would be rifkiy trying to comfort me. He was trying to comfort me since before raya. That was nice of him. But i just couldn't reply his text wechat twitter and call because.... I don't know. It feels wrong.
But when i opened it. It was him! That made me wiped my tears just now. He wechat me this morning at 4 am something wishing goodnight... I wonder why.,, was i in his mind at 4 am ! OMG! I really thought he hated me by now.
U know... He was pushing me away when i started to start a conversation with him. Its like he wanted to reply me "goodbye" staright away. That was always in my mind. AND OH !! One more thing in my mind is that he would reply like " please leave me alone "
That's what i'm really scared of. 4 words 18 words *ithink* scared the hell out of me.
Without hesitating i replied " goodmorning :) " and told him about the chicken my papa brought from. Kelantan.
Then all of the sudden i realised i was still in Kelantan. I mean whatttt ?! Haha and i was looking through the window i saw and elephant's ass hahaaha. And weird enough i was trying to take a picture of me and elephant's ass using Ira's phoneee hahahahah!
Then i was awake hearing my mama n papa arguing about.... Yeaa that made me teared up a little under my blankey with ed. I hope its nothing serious that are gonna get them into a big fight.and i woke up had my shower and decided to charge my iphone. Its been a while u know. I kinda always turning my phone off because there's so much sweet and bitter memories of him.
So then i turned on my phone and i saw some wechat me that i haven't read. I assume it would be rifkiy trying to comfort me. He was trying to comfort me since before raya. That was nice of him. But i just couldn't reply his text wechat twitter and call because.... I don't know. It feels wrong.
But when i opened it. It was him! That made me wiped my tears just now. He wechat me this morning at 4 am something wishing goodnight... I wonder why.,, was i in his mind at 4 am ! OMG! I really thought he hated me by now.
U know... He was pushing me away when i started to start a conversation with him. Its like he wanted to reply me "goodbye" staright away. That was always in my mind. AND OH !! One more thing in my mind is that he would reply like " please leave me alone "
That's what i'm really scared of. 4 words 18 words *ithink* scared the hell out of me.
Without hesitating i replied " goodmorning :) " and told him about the chicken my papa brought from. Kelantan.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Al fatihah and Yassin to Arwah Haji Omar bin Aman
This morning faiq's grandpa passed away. It must be hard for him. I know how it feels to lost ur grandparents. Especially when u'd spend so much time with them. I remember how i lost tok mak. I cried like i never cried before at the hospital , masa baca yassin, sampai la kat kubur.
Its hard. Im sure it must be hard for him too. All i can do is just sedekah surah yassin in my prayers tonight. InsyaAllah after solat Magrib or Isya. Semoga roh atuk faiq di tempatkan dengan orang yang beriman. And semoga Allah jauh kan atuk faiq daripada seksaan kubur. Amin. If u're reading this blog. If u're muslim ofcourse. Lets sedekah surah Yassin or Al fatihah at least to arwah Haji Omar bin Aman.
Its hard. Im sure it must be hard for him too. All i can do is just sedekah surah yassin in my prayers tonight. InsyaAllah after solat Magrib or Isya. Semoga roh atuk faiq di tempatkan dengan orang yang beriman. And semoga Allah jauh kan atuk faiq daripada seksaan kubur. Amin. If u're reading this blog. If u're muslim ofcourse. Lets sedekah surah Yassin or Al fatihah at least to arwah Haji Omar bin Aman.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
I think Allah had showed me sign last night :'(
Last night. Before i went to bed i did solat sunat Istikharah. Because i need to ask Allah to show me some sign and just heal my broken heart. As always during sujud i was crying asking for help from Allah. Show me some sign through dream or whatever just some sign if he really loves me and if he really is for me.
Believe it or not. I did have a dream last night. It was a really sad one. Not what i had expected at all. I had a dream that i'm moving to China because of my mom. And that time tok bah already passed away. That means i will never come back and visit Malaysia. Maybe once every 5 years.
I know at the time my dream that i was still deeply in love with Faiq. Still never giving up on our love. An that dream i told him i was moving , he was perfectly fine with me moving. He had a car and a house but still no women standing besides him.
I still remember he said his feeling never changed towards me. He said he wanted to get the keys and he'll come back to me. :') apprently that was just some excuses to let me go. The truth is he just wanted to be friends with me all along.
So back to the dream. His rection was "im gonna miss u sis" with i woke up crying. And calming myself down i have to accept what Allah had showed me. :')
Believe it or not. I did have a dream last night. It was a really sad one. Not what i had expected at all. I had a dream that i'm moving to China because of my mom. And that time tok bah already passed away. That means i will never come back and visit Malaysia. Maybe once every 5 years.
I know at the time my dream that i was still deeply in love with Faiq. Still never giving up on our love. An that dream i told him i was moving , he was perfectly fine with me moving. He had a car and a house but still no women standing besides him.
I still remember he said his feeling never changed towards me. He said he wanted to get the keys and he'll come back to me. :') apprently that was just some excuses to let me go. The truth is he just wanted to be friends with me all along.
So back to the dream. His rection was "im gonna miss u sis" with i woke up crying. And calming myself down i have to accept what Allah had showed me. :')
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