I still remember him chatting with me on Facebook 3 years ago. He would accompany me all night. Even though we were just a friends, he was still one of the sweetest friend I had. The kind a friend never leave you alone, never make you feel lonely, the kind of friend that would put that smile back on your face when you're down, would listen to your problem and make you feel better with their stupid jokes :')
Those 3 years flew by so fast. And a lot had happened between us.When we're back together now, my feelings towards him just grow bigger and bigger each day. He's my friend, my big brother and my boyfriend at the same time.I'd never been happy when he asked me to be his girlfriend again.So glad to be his again, I just miss him so much. Miss the way he put that smile on my face and make me feel special.
But as the 3years past by, I noticed a few things that's different about him.He was never there with me when I needed him the most.I started realized that the day I had a fight with my dad and I got hit by a guitar.There was literally no one that could make me feel better other than Faiq. I expect him to comfort me but at the end he was not there. He didn't even know I was hit by a classic guitar.My cousin Ira had to tell him for him to know.
The second times was when i got played by this guy called Tengku and his girlfiend Najwa. All the seniors in Adni would tease me and called me a bitch.I cried one night and texted Faiq and tell him all about it. I just need him to put that smile on my face. But instead he said "yang you pun post mcm tu kat blog buat ape, delete la". I knew i was wrong to post things about Tengku on my blog ,I knew my mistakes but I really don't need Faiq to blame it on me again.All i wanted was for him to make me smile :')
Not to forget when I cried and had a huge fight with my mom about selling my cat Oreo.I could never forget this.It actually almost break us up.I knew he was stressed with all his assignment at the time and his up coming exam.But i also need him at the time and again to make me feel better.But instead it all went really wrong.The last thing I knew was he BBM my cousin telling her that I always makes it all about me.I just wish he knows that I never want everything to be about me. I just wanted him to hug me and tell me everything would be fine.
From the fight with my dad , to Tengku , to selling Oreo, to the fight with my mom and i actually tried to kill myself with sleeping pills, to stressed up with my dad about my spec till now. He failed to wipe those tears on my face.
I knew all my mistakes in those fights and problems. I'm not asking for him to say I'm right and I'm innocent and that I'm a sweet little angle or as he posted on his twitter like I'm a princess living in the fairy tale.I just wanted him to make me feel better, to wipe my tears, to put a smile back on my face like he used to do when we were friends 3 years ago.
I just want him :'( The old Faiq Lutfi Shahrin that I met 3 years go. The person that I was chatting with 3 years ago.Please bring him back, I just can't keep wiping my own tears anymore and put the smile on by myself. I want him :'(
No comments:
Post a Comment