Please mama jangan pergi

Ida just nak ikut mama esok ~
Because i know i duduk rumah without mama nanti ida lonely ~
Ida tak suke when im alone and teringat kat die.
Please mama jangan la tinggal ida ~ :'/
Ida just nak explain kat mama why ida nak ikut sebab ida takut duduk rumah sorang ngan adik :'/
Kak aniq takde :'/ nanti ida teringat kat faiq :'/
Mama jangan la tengking ida depan orang ramai :'/
Let me explain ~
Takpe la ....

Tabahkan la hati ida...

Ya Allah malam ni macam macam happened. Ida nak demam. cousin ida said things yang sentap sikit la hati ida. Mama marah ida depan orang ramai.. Normally i would talk to debok ... Ya Allah ida promise dengan Allah n myself i will not susahkan faiq dah.... Ya Allah selame ni die ade dengar idaa  make me feel better... I feel really down. Mcm downn sngt. Rendah , malu , semua ade. Badan dah bise bise :/ malam ni mesti susah nak tidur.
Ya Allah bagi la kekuatan kat diri ida.

Taking my time

Things happened for a reason.
We go our separate way for a reason.
Allah maha Adil :)
Ida hamba Allah yang banyak buat dosa.
Dosa ngan mama papa family and even aiq.
Making faiq to go through things he went through when he was with me.
Ida tak nak seksa die lagi Ya Allah because i love him so much.
I can't lie to myself and my heart.
I do love him and that means i can't let him go through it again.
I love him and all i can  do is pray that he'll have a happy life with whom ever he choose to be with even though it might not be me :) i love him. Ida tak boleh selfish . Its okay i suffer with spm struggle through all these. What's  important is the person i love  faiq is back on his feet to his bright future :)
I know deep in my heart he'll be the men that was in my dream :)
Big car happy successful its okay if i have to be starbuck girl that he doesnt  recognise atleast i know he'll be the men i know he will be :) insyaAllah dengan izin Allah *Amin :)
All the person that i love the most
I'm taking this time to really ask for forgiveness
Im done praying for Allah to open his heart for me , crying in my sujud to give me a chance to make things right with him to love him right. Not for the mean time.
When Allah decide the time i want to make things right. Now i Learned my lesson well
Taking this nak betul kan balik kesilapan ida.
Posting bad things about my love ones in public Ya Allah dosa die mcm mount everest dah.
And he was right. Ida ni memang tak matang lagi selalu think negative on soo many things especially towards my love ones and family also. Sikap ida yang suke balas dendam towards my love one.Ya Allah ampun kan la dosa ida. Mcm mcm dah
Kalau Allah izin kat ida balik berbaik dengan faiq balik this time i want to make it right.
Ida tak nak buat dosa kat dia. I'd make things right :) love him right :)
But for the mean time im slowly learning from my mistake.
InsyaAllah dengan izin Allah ida boleh berubah :)
I can feel it in me already. A little improvement. Selama ni tak sedar ngan dosa ida. Now i know dosa ida kalau mati sekarang confirm masuk neraka tak payah soal dalam kubur :)
Mintak mintak things will be alright for me , and him. Never miss his name and his family in my prayers to have a happy life and murah kan rezeki mereka :) kalau Allah izin faiq and i will be together again. Allah know what he's doing :) kalau faiq bukan untuk ida pun Allah have a reason for it :)

I get it :') hope u're happy. Goodbye :')

Faiqq.. Ida nak cakap thanks for taking care of me :')

Thanks for making me feel so special :')

Thanks for making me happy and be that bubbly girl i once were :')

Thanks sebab suruh ida makan ubat :')

Thanks for the warm hugs u given me :')

Thanks for being there at the hospital

Thanks for being there for me when puteh died :')

Thanks for trying to help me find adam 

Thanks for making me urs for the 2nd time:')

Thanks for being there 24/7 even on the phone :') 

Thanks for the compliment about my art work

Thanks for making me smile

Thanks for making me extra blush when i'm with you

Thanks for holding my hand and making my heart skips a beat :') 

Thanks for the warm kisses you had given me :').... Thanks for being my debok , my doreamon , my gajah , my lutfin , my aiq , my faiq upon a princess , my faiq zulkifli :') thanks for being my brother , my boyfriend , my dad , my best friend , my friend , a shoulder to cry on , a place to talk to , a place to share feelings with :')thanks for eveything :')

Our convo ends here :') this is the last blog im gonna post for you to read :')

I get ur words :'( u don't have feeling for me :'( 

Lets pretend like i never been to maya when i first met you :') white shirt and no sabun :') this is what you really want.. :') 

I respect u're decision :'( i know there's no space me in ur heart :') no chance for you to love me again :'( ida tak kan kacau faiq dah :') u never met a girl name Nursyahida Binti Muhamad Saidi :') just know that i will always love you :'( i will never forget bout you and our good and bad times together :'( the last post and if u remember i told u this blogged i made 2 years ago with ur full name as my password :') u were always in my heart even when im with other guys :')

I never love anyone as much as i love you :')m

You may think i deserve better but its u that i really want and ever wish for since the day i met you :')

I wish we can just sit together one day just us two and make things better :'(
Every night i always been waiting for your call to say you love me :'( berangan je ida haha :')

But there's no chance we can do that cz u heart just won't accept me :'( 

Its you that changed my life for better :')

Just Wish one day you'll see my love towards you :') 

Thanks for everything faiq lutfi shahrin :') 

Goodbye :'( 

Salam Zuhur

Just finish solat zuhur. Mintak mintak Allah dengar doa ida :') 

English paper... Missed.

Ya Allah my favorite paper is english everybody knows tht :'( todayy i couldn't make it because im too sick to get out of bed... Ya Allah i already screwed my agama n bm paper bcz i couldn't think straight. Now i missed my english paper :'( tolong la jgn seksa idaaa. I cant be sick right now :'(

Allah please tell him..

Allah please tell him how much i love him

Allah please tell him how much i miss him

Allah please tell him my life has been a mess

Allah please tell him i need him

Allah please tell him to give me a chance 

Allah please tell him to let me love him :')

Allah please tell him i already suffered enough 

Allah please tell him how much he means to a girl name Nursyahida binti Muhamad Saidi :') 

Aminnnn with puddle of tears. 5 times aday after solat i would do this. 

Allah tolong la dengar doa ida :')