Is it really ?

I have to be honest my life haven't been the same since he left me as his girlfriend. 

You know i used to be this bubbly girl , jumping up and down, talks alot , laugh alot and smile alot. 

Well now i haven't notice myself but some people told me i look sick and unhappy. I donno i don't think i look sick and unhappy when i look in the mirror.

But ofcourse inside i'm sick and unhappy. 

Since he left me people keep saying i look pale and stuff. 

But its all doesn't matter anymore.

I used to u know ... Trying to be all pretty for him. Sometimes i even went to the saloon just because I'm going to see him.. Hahah how happy and excited i was :) 

Well now no need to be all pretty happy and excited anymore. For other guy ? Naa i think i had it with guys. 

They make you feel like you're the only girl and in the world and then just left you feeling the ugliest girl in the world haha all of them. Maybe that's why they said i look pale. 

Then about taking my medicine, he used to care about me. Tell me to take my medicine be all concern about my health. And that's actually my fav part. I like being manja :) that's the only time i can be manja with him. Now he's gone no need to take my medicine laaa :) no matter what happen to me , accident or coma, he's gonna be fine la :) i used to eat my medicine because he care about me and i love him. 

Now he's fine without me.very happy actually :) Alhamdulillah he's happy. I think its because he has his friends behind his back to catch him when he fell. You know all the lepaking shisha futsal. 

While i'm on the other hand left alone :) to be honest i don't really have any friends. Just some fake friends who would stand by me when im happy. But not the kind of friend to catch me when i fall :) you see..he's really lucky to have a friend :) all i had was my mom. Who can only gave a lill advice. That's it.

My cousin friends all ran away when im jn trouble.. Naaa im used to it. Who can blame them. They have a happy life with their boyfriends to care about than to care about a heartbroken cousin or friends :)

All i had was him :) to cry to manja to be friends to be brothers. You see it was all him and no one else :) he's actually all in one i must say hahah he's my everything. And basically all i do is to make him proud of me :) you know doing my art folio. Studying hard.be pretty.stay healthy. All for him. Now he's gone u know i didnt just lost a boyfriend i lost my everything. My spirits in everything. 

I guess that's why its hard for me to let him go. Especially as my boyfriend.